The beauty of a team

This past weekend we suffered a loss like one we have never experienced. It wasn't on the field. It was real life.

One of our players lost her mom to cancer.

Let's face it most of us coaches are control freaks. But you soon realize there isn't a playbook for this moment and you really have no control.

On Monday morning, not knowing how to really address our team at that afternoon's training, I picked up the phone and called our counseling center. We have an amazing network on this campus. I spoke with the director of the center who is this terrific man that pretty much epitomizes everything you think of when you think of a counselor. He is soft spoken, understanding, and asks you lots of questions like "how do you feel..." Just talking to him makes you feel better.

I explained the situation and asked him if he or one of the counselors could come speak to the team.

What happened next made me realize the absolute beauty of being a part of a team...

I told him our team was feeling loss, grief and sadness. He asked me "was everyone close with her mom." I explained that most had never met her mom. He seemed surprised. He asked how many were on the team. I said we had 35 but that the player and another teammate (who was also very close to the mom) wouldn't be at the meeting. He asked how many do I expect to attend and was surprised when I said everyone.

At 2:30 he joined us in the locker room. Our players asked amazing questions. Most centered around how can we be there for our teammates because we really have two that are going through this loss. He answered questions, he asked great questions, and a few players even shared their own feelings of loss. It was very emotional.

Then he said something I'll never forget. "There is something very beautiful about this. About how much you all care for your teammates."

He was right. In a room of over 35 people (including coaches and players) perhaps only a handful of us had ever met her mom. The player herself is a freshman. She has only been on the team for a couple of months. Yet none of that mattered.

A team is a beautiful place because we are family. We feel for each other. We care about each other. We LOVE each other. One teammate's loss is everyone's loss. It is the truly special thing about team sports.

Our motto is that we are "more than a team." One of our five core values is that "we play for each other." Mottos and core values are meaningless words until they are actually tested.

This has been an incredibly difficult time for our program. But I've never been more proud of the women on this team. This team truly is beautiful.